Xandir
"I'm on a never-ending quest to save my girlfriend!" ~ Xandir's repeated line Xandir P. Wifflebottom is a fictional character in the animated series Drawn Together. He is one of the eight housemates who are the focus of the show. Background Xandir represents the nerdy game- and adventure-loving person of the reality shows. He is primarily based on Link from The Legend of Zelda, but also borrows attributes from many other video game heroes. In the first episode, Xandir valiantly proclaims, "I'm on a never-ending quest to save my girlfriend!" The girlfriend is a spoof of the eponymous Princess Zelda from The Legend of Zelda; the quest is "never-ending" because his girlfriend is constantly getting into difficult situations (itself a parody of the many video game heroines who are constantly being kidnapped, including Zelda herself). Xandir's character also mocks the use of overly feminine and beautiful male characters (in Japanese called bishōnen) in video games, most notably in role-playing games. Xandir's costume is also a further reference to video games that feature characters wearing clothing which is either too complicated or too revealing to be much protection. His sword is extremely phallic, with two flesh-colored knobs on the hilt and a matching scabbard. He appears to be a reasonably capable warrior when circumstances require it. This has not stopped him from dying many times over the course of the show, but he does not seem to consider this a liability since he has multiple extra lives to fall back on. His full name is Xandir P. Wifflebottom. Xandir's last name and middle name initial "P" are revealed during a phone call with his girlfriend in "Gay Bash", though it is never indicated what the P stands for. His parents' home resembles a Hobbit-hole, suggesting parody of some contemporary fantasy elements outside video games. Xandir and his parents have pointed ears like Hylians and other elf-like races but their species has not been clearly established. His special video game move is the "reach-around", which he demonstrates to a bewildered Scorpion from Mortal Kombat, who responds only with the phrase, "Oy vey". He has numerous extra lives, and is constantly earning more; whenever he dies in the show, he usually respawns immediately (the main exceptions being cases where the story requires otherwise, such as many of the main characters dying simultaneously). In "Gay Bash", when he is trying to commit suicide, he stabs himself 49 times, respawning immediately after each death; however, he is talked out of the act before exhausting his last life. Xandir is left-handed (possibly another subtle reference to Link, who is also left-handed). His catchphrases are a very effeminate "Oh my God oh my God oh my God!", which he utters while frantically running around in circles, and "Oh, fuck me," in response to foreseeing himself being dragged into something phenomenally bad. Unlike the other housemates, whose religions have either been confirmed or strongly hinted at, Xandir's religion is not known. He mentions Jesus in "A Tale of Two Cows" ("Jesus probably loves you"), implying Christian beliefs. In "Foxxy vs. the Board of Education", he has a Christian wedding despite the fact that his marriage partner, Spanky Ham, is a Muslim; however, the Christian wedding might have been chosen because it would be the type most familiar to the show's audience. In the episode "Wooldoor Sockbat's Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable!", Wooldoor calls Xandir a "snerd-nurgling Jew"; however, as the line is part of a running gag in which characters make outrageous statements while meaning something entirely different, this information cannot be considered canon either. Additionally, in "Gay Bash," Xandir is shown to be uncircumcised, making it unlikely he is Jewish. (However, the DVD version of "Captain Girl" shows Xandir to be circumcised.) In "Lost in Parking Space, Part Two", Xandir refers to Moses leading the Jews out of the desert "to the world's everlasting regret", again suggesting non-Jewish beliefs. To date, no other references have been made regarding Xandir's religion, making it impossible to pin down or even make a reasonable guess at. Sexuality At the beginning of the series, Xandir is dating a woman whom he has apparently known for a long time. After he comes out of the closet in "Gay Bash", his girlfriend breaks up with him in a verbally abusive manner despite being in a very perilous position with presumably no one else to rescue her. Xandir tries to commit suicide, but finds a new purpose in life when he falls in love with a gay genie in a magic lamp (a parody of Robin Williams's character in Aladdin); after the genie is kidnapped by Xandir's nemesis, Lord Slashstab (a parody of Dungeons and Dragons villain Venger), Xandir declares that he is now on a neverending quest to save his boyfriend. The genie is seen again in "Foxxy vs. the Board of Education", where he is one of the guests at Xandir's marriage of convenience, implying that he and Xandir are no longer an item; however, by this point, Xandir has come fully to terms with his sexuality. Indeed, in the very next episode, while he is advising Toot on how to lose weight, Xandir inserts his sword down his throat, much like a sword swallower would. He then notes that he no longer has much of a gag reflex, alluding to his being accustomed to performing oral sex. In "Captain Girl", when Toot uses a black light to look for semen, Xandir's entire body is glowing. In "Xandir and Tim, Sitting in a Tree", Xandir states directly that he has had a lot of gay sex since coming out. Xandir has had a number of love interests over the course of the show, in addition to his girlfriend and the genie. The two who are mentioned most frequently are men named Craig and Fernando. Craig is a man with whom Xandir had an extremely active sexual relationship, but which ultimately ended because Craig would not come out of the closet. Craig serves as the basis for a running gag on the show; often, after Xandir has made a point of some sort, the scene will cut to him in the confessional saying, "Right, Craig?", or something to that effect. Craig has never appeared on the show in person. Fernando is a Hispanic man for whom Xandir seems to have had strong feelings but was unable to convince to settle down. In "Foxxy vs. the Board of Education", he remarks, "Oh Fernando, some day I will tame your wild ways." Xandir often reminisces about various times he and Fernando have had together, usually with a bittersweet air. Fernando's only appearance on the show comes via a confessional segment in "Wooldoor Sockbat's Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable!". Girlfriend aside, he is one of the only housemates who has not been implied to be bisexual, being fully and joyfully gay since his emergence from the closet. (He did once have semi-consensual sex with housemate Toot Braunstein, or as he put it, "tossed (her) a mercy fuck", but it was clear he didn't enjoy it). He shares a room with Captain Hero, with whom he shares a friendship and many pseudo-sexual discussions—and sometimes more. It is implied that Xandir and Captain Hero have romantic feelings for each other, but Hero's refusal to acknowledge his bisexuality, and possible homosexuality, aswell as his often abusive treatment of Xandir prevents them from having an actual relationship. Xandir implies that he has a very strained relationship with his father in "Terms of Endearment"; he eventually comes out to his parents in "A Very Special Drawn Together Afterschool Special", though they indicate that it was already very obvious to them since after he told them they just say "Uh, duuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!" . Many of his sexual interests border on the perverse, as he is an aficionado of glory holing, BDSM, role-playing, and even gerbilling. In the first episode, "Hot Tub", we see that both of his nipples are pierced. In "Dirty Pranking No. 2", he wears mascara which stains his face as he cries, and in Season Two, he is shown to wear nail polish. In "Ghostesses in the Slot Machine", he wears makeup, lipstick, and a pink bikini while performing a male strip show in an attempt to seduce The King (who believes Xandir is a woman). The uncensored DVD version of "Captain Girl" reveals that Xandir's penis is long, veined, bent and kinked in various places. Some believe it was meant to look like it suffered from over use of penis pump. It also is pierced through the head with a massive horizontal bull ring. The idea that Xandir possesses the ability to become pregnant is a running gag on the show. In the episode "Gay Bash", when he locks himself in the bathroom and takes another gay test, Foxxy corrects him, telling Xandir that there's only a pregnancy test in the bathroom. Xandir grumpily replies with, "Oh, great. Now I've got two problems." The joke is repeated in "Unrestrainable Trainable"; when Hero tells Xandir that he always pulls out, Xandir warns him that's not a foolproof method for preventing pregnancy, upon which the scene cuts to Xandir in the confessional breastfeeding a baby and saying, "Right, Craig?". Personality and traits Xandir is one of the two most innocent housemates on the show with the other being Wooldoor. Xandir is a very sensitive, overemotional, and somewhat sexually confused teenager. He is determined to save his boyfriends and "girlfriend" from Lord Slashstab and at the same time have fun on the show. He hates being made fun of for being gay. At first, Xandir was shy at coming out of the closet and felt embarrassed about being gay but when he had a BJ with Elmer at the gay bash, he was determined to live out his life as a homosexual. He very often gets nervous about things, especially when he is about to tell secrets about himself like when he was going to tell his parents that he was gay and needed help from the other housemates so he would expect what was coming. He cries very often when hurt. He has a lot of positivity. He is sometimes self-deprecating. Out of all the housemates, Xandir is the most subjugated to Captain Hero's deranged antics, despite this however he appears to be most closest to Hero. Role on the show Xandir largely serves as a vehicle to make fun of nerdy and homo types. In addition to the sexual jokes made at his expense (almost all of which come from either Captain Hero or Spanky Ham), it is also revealed that he enjoys knitting, sewing, reading romance novels, basket weaving, and attending ice shows. He also subscribes to the magazines Cosmopolitan, Tiger Beat, Dude'z Health, and Ex-Box Muncher. He is prone to going hysterical when upset. He is the most sensitive and the most emotional of the housemates (though in Season Two, Captain Hero begins to give him some competition in this regard), traits which are based on another gay stereotype. He is frequently depicted as the most kind-hearted and considerate member of the group. In stories where he is not the focus himself, Xandir is usually cast in the "best friend" role, offering support and advice to one of the others. In The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie!, Xandir comforts Clara after she realizes that she isn't a real princess, saying that she'll always be a real princess to him. This is particularly benevolent behavior given her frequent displays of contempt for his homosexuality. Of all the housemates, Xandir has shown himself to be the one most willing to go to great lengths to help the others, as exemplified by his marrying Spanky in "Foxxy vs. the Board of Education" so the latter could have health insurance, his having semi-consensual sex with Toot in "A Tale of Two Cows" (even though the idea repulsed him) just to keep her feelings from being hurt, and agreeing to take part in Captain Hero's various asinine schemes, even though many of them result in Xandir being severely injured and sometimes killed (despite all this, he appears to be a close friend to Hero). Episodes See: Xandir Episodes '' Character design In original artwork before the show's release, Xandir is slightly muscular. Xandir's hair was dark brown and longer, and his skin tone was much darker. He also had larger, more anime-esque eyes. He was originally supposed to be a satyr, like the Greek god Pan. The lower half of his body was that of a goat, and he possessed horns as well.http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117893385.html?categoryid=14&cs=1&query=%22Drawn+Together%22 Prototype comparison Link from [[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda (series)|''The Legend of Zelda series]] (Twilight Princess version pictured);Xandir from ''Drawn Together. '' Trivia *In the episode "Gay Bash," it was revealed that Xandir was gay. Category:Housemates